Christmas kilos and the scale

A SCALE that once lived in a household always broke during Christmas. “The weight is unbearable”, she used to say every time she saw humans gathering around the Christmas table and eating non – stop, and as soon as the time came for them to step on her, she kept coming up with ways to avoid her fate.

When New Year’s Eve came this year, the scale got terrified to see the housewife return from the super-market with five bags filled with cooking ingredients, with which she would cook pies, salads and all sorts of delicacies to decorate the Christmas table.  When the scale saw her, she thought to herself: “The moment she steps on me tomorrow is probably my last”, and she closed her eyes when the housewife stepped on her that day, just before closing herself in her kitchen to cook. When the scale realized she was doomed, she decided to take action.

“I need to find a way for them to avoid fats”, she thought and so asked the electric stove to burn the steaks and the sausages on purpose. “I’ll do my best”, the stove promised, as she was anyway tired from all the cooking and felt unappreciated. So it happened:  when the phone rang and the housewife ran to pick it up, the stove tried to burn the food. As the housewife was very experienced in cooking, however, she hanged up just in time to take the food out before it was too late.

“My plan failed miserably…”, the scale admitted. She then noticed a big roasting pan on which the housewife had placed the turkey, along with the stuffing on a smaller plate next to it: plums, butter and nuts. “It’s the stuffing that makes them put weight on”, the stove told the scale after their first failure, and as soon as the phone rang once more, the scale ran to throw it to the trash can. Smelling the stuffing, however, she felt hungry and couldn’t resist. A few minutes later she realized she had devoured all of it.

“I think I’ve had enough…”, the scale admitted just about the same time that the housewife put the phone down. She, then, ran to hide. When the housewife realized the stuffing was gone, she started crying above the turkey to find consolation.

Certain that she was no longer in danger the next day the housewife would step on her, the scale sat comfortably in a corner next to the other electrical appliances and prepared herself to welcome on the new year. Just a few minutes before twelve, however, the housewife’s two sons rang the doorbell, carrying another freshly cooked, delicious turkey that was wrapped with a red ribbon.

“Happy New Year!”, the two sons exclaimed and they all sat at the table to taste the turkey. The scale, then, became desperate, as her plan had failed unexpectedly: they would eat to the point where their stomachs would be full, then step on her and turn her into a thousand pieces thanks to all the excess eating.

“I hope I didn’t put on too much weight…!”, the housewife exclaimed the next morning just before she stepped on the scale. “I’m sure this is my end…”, the scale murmured, shivering with fear. The very last moment, and just as the housewife stepped her first foot on her, the phone rang once more. It was the housewife’s two sons, who had called her to thank her for the rich New Year’s Eve table she had diligently prepared for them.

"Best leave this for another day then”, the housewife thought to herself the second time she went to the scale, as the phone call reminded her of how much she had eaten. She then took the scale and placed it on the shelf so as to resist the temptation of weighing herself, only to place it back after the holidays had passed.

So, they were both happy.